Professional & Personal Coach
What the F*** : IS FEAR holding you back?
How do you respond when you feel FEAR? Do you Run? Hide? Head in the Sand? Eat? Drink? Go silent? Avoid? Get retail Therapy? Panic? Isolate yourself? Binge-watch TV series? Push people away? Overthink? …we all have automated patterns & habits.
If you are feeling stressed about your health, career, politics, the economy recovering from COVID, your finances, your relationships, loneliness, personal safety – Know that you are not alone.
This is not just because of COVID – this has been ongoing since I set up my practice I can’t help but notice the intense language clients use with ongoing references to fear, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, uncertainty to describe how they are feeling.
Anxiety has risen in all areas of life. Our mental wellness needs the same profile & focus as our physical wellness. It’s awesome to work on our bodies, let’s not forget to give our minds a good workout – Nourish our minds – it’s a vital part of self-care.
A 2019 survey by the American Psychological Association reported a majority of Uni students are stuck in overwhelmed they were unable to function & a trend for our baby boomers 60+ experiencing a mega leap in anxiety. Digital media plays a significant role with an impact on healthy sleep hygiene. Add our global COVID pandemic and we are experiencing new levels especially for family life.
A silver lining amidst our fears – we are becoming more open in our attitudes & acceptance of Mental Health. I am in awe of the courage of individuals who grow through what they go through, as well as organisations that are integrating Mental Wellness as a backbone of their people & culture focus.
I have become acutely aware of a generation ‘quarter-life’ crisis (18-28 yr olds) struggling with some of the same patterns that were once reserved for a mid life crisis. (Fear, anxiety, stress, stuck in overwhelm,)
We can inhale self-help materials – read, watch, listen to all the platforms of materials out there. Get that exercise app, make an entry in your gratitude journal, create magic morning routines – yet we can still feel stuck.
Nobody says this is easy – but without exception, everyone says it’s worth it
Are you following through?
Try this 5 Min Check-In.
Take out a piece of paper – draw 2 columns.
On the left-hand side make a list of all the things you have purchased, downloaded, read, made a plan for in the last 2 weeks.
On the right-hand side next to the item – make a list of the goal, actions, outcomes that you made happen as a result & how long did the actions last?
- What do you notice?
- What are you celebrating?
- Where did you get stuck?
- What is truly holding you back from making change your reality?
Truth is we still have to do the work. That walk/ run/ go to the gym, commit to taking action. No matter how small – small steps every day will cumulate and make a difference in gaining momentum. 1% consistency everyday is the name of the game.
Taking that action to move us a step closer to what we truly want –nudging towards our desires – moving away from that past clutter that keeps us stuck (according to our brain, it’s keeping us safe!)
Sustainable change takes time. We have to learn the patterns – unlearn them – then relearn new ways of doing stuff. Breaking old patterns to make space for revised options – out with the old – in with the new.
Truth Bomb : It is FEAR that keeps up in a stuck state. There will be areas of your life where FEAR wins hands down every time.
That critical inner game – the mind work – makes the difference between staying stuck in those patterns OR breaking free to move forward.
Talking about change is the easy part – making plans to change falls into that category too – to make change happen – you need to change how you think.
Positive thinking alone is not enough. Why? Because everyday small sh*t happens that will trigger you to feel a moment of fear. It happens so fast you may not even notice.
It’s these micro-moments when you feel afraid, nervous, anxious – the naked truth is that you have trained yourself to react in the same old way. You have an automatic response that has become a habit. When we change our intention, we can change the outcome.
Here are 5 simple steps that will help you win the mental game
1) Understand what & how FEAR is triggering your THOUGHTS
2) Accept the THOUGHT & CHOOSE how you RESPOND
3) Changing your RESPONSE
4) Will CHANGE how you THINK
5) PRACTICE this new RESPONSE
It’s a powerful micro-step.
Give it a go –
Notice one thing that is triggering anxiety or fear..walk through the 5 steps.
What did you notice?
See 9 Powerful & Easy Hacks to Reduce Stress – NOW
Becoming familiar with, & making FEAR your companion is likely to be the single most effective step you can take in making change happen.
- We can change our habits when we set intentions.
- Choosing how you respond will change how you think & what you say.
- Be aware of the inner game.
- Change the intention, you can change the outcome.
What is your biggest fear right now?
What makes you afraid or nervous?
We love hearing your thoughts. Leave a comment below.
Want to hear more about our take on personal development, vitality and self-care?