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Why am I never enough?

By July 23, 2020August 17th, 2020No Comments

Sarah Linton

Professional & Personal Coach

The slippery slide towards BURNOUT.

 

It does not matter where you are in the world, where you live, what you do, there are so many of us that have an inner doubt about being enough.

In a world where striving seems to be required at home, work & play, the expectations we put on ourselves can send us into a spin.
Mums, Dads, over-performing professionals & students are being spread so thinly its only a matter of time before something buckles.

We are putting it on ourselves to work out, look great, share the family & household responsibilities, succeed in our careers, be a hands-on supporting parent, encourage our kids to embrace & experience all the opportunities in our world.

We get caught up in feeling we need to engage with everything available, be present on the side-lines of sports matches, spend time with loved ones, provide & look after ageing relatives & still attempt to glide through without letting on we have ‘swans feet’ paddling so fast under the watermark.

Enter Mr & Mrs Incredible ……. Superheroes get tested with these super human expectations on ourselves.

Photo Credit : >Sunny studio | Am I enough?

Running our lives as superheroes impacts on how we are truly showing up as a professional, business leader, a parent within our families & friendships and more importantly – to ourselves.

It is no wonder we feel stressed, overwhelmed and operate way to close to our burnout zone.

Do you know that feeling of overwhelm, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands?

All too often we are putting everyone, everything ahead of ourselves, pleasing others and giving much of ourselves away leaving us drained & on the edge.
In our connected world, the art of comparing ourselves to others creates even more layers of anxiety and stress.

Overwhelmed, Under Slept, Overworked, Under Happy sums up a growing trend of how we are living our lives.

In May 2019 The World Health Organisation categorised burnout as an occupational phenomenon in the International Classification of Diseases.

“Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed & is characterised by 3 dimensions:

1) Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion.
2) Increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job.
3) Reduced professional efficacy.

As a result, the WHO  embarked on the development of evidence-based guidelines on mental well-being in the workplace & we are in transition to be open to talking more openly.

The feeling that “I am enough” does not mean that I have nothing to learn, nothing further to achieve, and nowhere to grow to. It means that I accept myself, that I am not on trial in my own eyes, that I value and respect myself. This is not an act of indulgence but of courage.
Nathanial Branden

Shining a light where we need to….

  • Why is it that I worry about what others may think or their judgements of me?
  • What is that stops me from being vulnerable and showing my truth?
  • What makes me feel inadequate?
  • What is it that I fear about saying these 3 hardest words “I need help”

….Those layers of your onion are well & truly present – peel them back and we reveal some of the stories you tell yourself.

  • Perhaps you don’t feel that you deserve the attention?
  • Perhaps you have told yourself that others are more important and putting you ahead of them is selfish?

Who is running the gig here? Our internal dialogue or you?

We can question if we deserve giving ourselves, the same as we give to others.
Why do we continually stop ourselves from being or having more? (More of these Clarity, Confidence, Connection, Balance & Vitality)

When we juggle too many balls – whilst running on the treadmill – smiling on the outside – yet crumbling on the inside, life is passing us by without the joy that we are so worthy of, we are most certainly heading for that burnout zone.

Photo Credit : Andrey Popov | Finding balance as a superhero

So the answer to the question “Am I enough?” – Hell YES you ARE enough!
Shout it from the rooftops…YOU are ENOUGH!
Accept it – learn all the ways you are enough, unlearn the patterns that tell you that you are NOT enough, then relearn how to embrace freedom from everything that held you back.

It can be uncomfortable to accept – even painful to know…let that marinade for a moment whilst you reflect over a cuppa …ask yourself 4 questions.

1) Where in my life is this showing up as my truth?
2) What would change or would I do differently if I accepted that I am enough?
3) What would my family, friends notice me doing that is different from now?
4) What is the one step I can take to make this my reality?

When you know you are enough, the next step to take is to truly believe it.

See 9 Powerful & Easy Hacks to Reduce Stress – NOW

“No matter how much i get done, or is left undone at the end of any day – i am enough” Brene Brown

Takeaways

  • Burnout is an occupational phenomenon.
  • You are not alone.
  • There is no shame in asking for help.
  • Overwhelm in any one area of your life does mean you are not enough.
  • It takes courage to take action.
  • Self Care isn’t selfish.

 

Have you noticed any patterns where you continually strive to feel enough leaving you feeling guilty & exhausted?
What might need your attention?
Leave a comment below

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Sarah Linton

Sarah Linton

Sarah Linton is an accredited Catalyst Coach specialising in moving through change and transition, in all aspects of life. Passionately connected to her True North, her coaching business operates across time zones, partnering clients in the UK, Australia, New Zealand, the USA & Kuala Lumpa.

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